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THE GIPPER COULDN’T BE WITH US TODAY

Hi,
I’m a basketball player, but I was suspended by the team I played for and out of action, sidelined, and benched for a while . . .
My shooting, lay ups, jump shots, even my foul shots were near perfect, but I was suspended mainly because the coaches didn’t think I was much of a team player.
That’s not just ‘cause I’m an egotistic narcissistic type, but also because there just weren’t enough guys who played with me.
I hope now to become a better team player.
I play basketball mostly because the courts I play on are always in or near parks, and it’s always the perfect thing to say to people like your parents: “I’m going to play basketball now”, when in essence what I like doing more is going into the woods, down to the river, and smoking some grass.
I leave the jocks up at the court, so do the girls.
But there’s something I really do like about basketball, I love the way the game starts!
The way we’re all psyched up before each game is extraordinary and what’s relevant.
The coach, whose name is Rupert in this case, starts each game by gathering the team together in a huddle, and then showing us all an old beat up T-shirt with a number on it, and says:
“This is the shirt of The Gipper.” (an incredibly great basketball player thoroughly dedicated to the sport, a very, very, caring guy whose only hope in life is that boys like me reach the heights of manhood through the practice of this sport)
“He couldn’t be with us today, but he cares very, very, much about all you fine young boys, and is watching you always, and knows everything that happens, every point, but he just couldn’t be here today, so TOUCH THE SHIRT!”
And we’d all touch the shirt and become electrified beyond all belief like Medicine Men in the Amazons who’d just had hallucinogenic dust blown up their noses and straight into their brains!
Then we’d all prance out onto the court to the cheers of the fans, being as high as we could be.